Now, please welcome our hosts, RED, GREEN, and BLUE with a warm round of applause!
*Applause*
Thanks muchly!!! Quiet down now...or nowwww... now's fine too. SHUT UP. Thank you.
You lucky people are here today to witness a monumental occasion, a ceremony to end all ceremonies (except perhaps the one next year... now THERE's an event)...
Are you ready to behold the greatest event of all time? Are you ready to witness the most entertaining, outrageous, and funny award ceremony ever? Are you? ARE YOU? NAH, probably not. But here it is anyway.
GASP! ima so excited. Lets get started...
Geez guys. You might want to stop building up soo much excitement for the audience---wouldn't want to let them down if this ends up failing and being really lame. JUST KIDDING PEOPLE. THIS WILL NOT BE LAME. THIS WILL BE AMAZING. SO SHUT UP. START LAUGHING. AND KEEP READING...
I, RED, am proud to announce the first award.
I present to you, the "TEACHER I'VE HAD FOR 11 SEMESTERS AND THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE TO GOOOO Award"
Candidates this year are:
Jensen
Kim Jensen
Kimm Jensen
and last but not least,Kimberly Jensen
...And the award goes to... WOW...Never before in all of TriplePerspective history has this happened... All four have won!
*applause*
The next award is...the much anticipated Worst King of the Universe Award!
And for his assassination of Gandhi and his general carelessness towards the well-being of the human race, this award goes to the one, the immortal, the
ISHAN RANADE!!!
*wild boos and hisses*
Now, it is my privelege to present a very broad, very coveted award, applicable to a great many people. However, we believe that this person has what it takes. Now, without further ado... the winner of the "Best Romanian Math Teacher" Award is....
MRS ILAC!!!
*huge cheers interspersed with dramatic renditions of the quadratic formula song*
Every year, thousands upon thousands of obscure blogs appear on the internet. Not many are nearly as epic as ours. So, today, I present to you the "Best Blog in the Entire World Belonging to a Weird Obsessive, Korean Girl" ...
This Award goes to...
Tomberries.blogspot.com!!!
*applause, but not as big as the applause that TriplePerspective will get*
Presenting...the "massively" desirable MOST ATTRACTIVE award!! Which can only go to the one, the only...
Mr. Peter Saxby!
*wild and slightly embarassed applause as Mr Saxby stands up to claim his prize and promptly rips his pants*
This next award could only be given to one person. Actually, we felt it was kind of self explanatory (unlike our other awards...) Still, the "Most Stoic" award goes to...
JOSH YE!!!
*VERY SERIOUS CLAPPING.*
Someone this year has mad YOU face palm on multiple occasions. He's made you shake your head in disgust while letting out a half-chuckle. And with that, I present to you the "Punniest" Award. He will be speaking to you, the audience, tonight in a sad but respectable attempt to elicit laughter. The "Punniest" Award goes to:
ISAAC "PUNLORD" STINSON!!!
*Scattered applause and groaning as the self-titled "Punlord" himself takes the stage to give an acceptance speech...*
Thank you! Thank you. You look great tonight! but not really, i just say that to make you like me and keeping wanting to hear my puns. So stay beautiful.
Its funny, the other day, I ran into this urban lawn ornament playing the drums...so i asked him, what are you, some kind of metrognome? hahaha! but seriously folks, it sure is an honor to recieve this award. hey. is the spotlight hon-or off? hahaha. I had this tape that I was watching, and it was of my dog. boy did she whine a lot. but she was so good at it that i had to watch it again. but first, i had to rewhined it! hahaha. Anyways (Editor's note: "Anyways" is not grammatically correct. One should instead say "anyway," or if they want to sound sophisticated, they should say "Whatever the case may be." Continuing...), I was at a dj club the other night and they suddenly switched from my favorite song genre, electronic, to country. I said to the DJ "Oh techno you didnt!" hahaha. did you hear about the new internet mattress? it provides internet connection while you sleep. Only available at sleep-country, USA, "Wi-fi a Mattress Anywhere else!" Hmm.. Im gonna need some fruit as soon as I'm done here, probably speaches and cream...and, judging by the pained expressions on your faces, it's time for me to leave! Thank you, and goodnight!
*More groans and scattered laughter as people finally get the jokes*
For commendable soliciting, I am proud to present the "BEST TELEMARKETER" award to...
BROWN!!!
*huge cheers from the Indian section of the crowd, and from anyone who bought his stuff...*
Next, the "Creepiest Yet Strangely Hilarious Dinosaur" Award goes to...
ARON DAW!!!
*Massive laughs as adoring fans attempt and fail at doing dinosaur impersonations*
There haven't been many great male companions this year. The one that we have chosen has proven to be the best, and most amazing male companion we've seen. The "Best Male Companion" award shall go to:
Lydia Hsu!
*slight confusion except for the few people who get it...*
That brings us to the well-deserved "Best Second Period Korea Documentary" Award, which goes to...
THE SECOND PERIOD KOREA DOCUMENTARY GROUP!!!
*massive applause with random shouts of "LONG LIVE KIM JONG IL!!!!"*
Now, there (sadly) hasn't been an enormously large number of commenters on this blog, but after all, we're about quality over quantity here at TriplePerspective. Regardless, we would like to present the "Best Comment" award to the following person for her strangely insightful but obviously wrong comment on the "A Day in the Life of a TriplePerspectiver" post:
"I like how you guys [Karl, Daniel, and Alexander] are the only commenters...its almost as if you have some "connection" to RED... BLUE, [and] GREEN..."
While it may not be true, its the best we have, so it is my honor to present the "Best Comment" Award to:
ARCHANA MANDAVA!!!
*lots of applause*
3v3ry y34r, we haVe an a55ortment of h4x0rs to d33l with h3r3 4t TriplePerspect1v3. But n0n3 hav3 h4x3d with as much ski11 a5 t3h person w3 w1ll pr35eNt to y0u 4 t3h "H4x0r 0f t3h y33r"
/\w42d...
4nd t3h 4w4rd go3z 2
3LU3!!!
*Roars of applause and cheering*
While lacking in primaryness, this blogger's contributions were significantish. Of all the many shades and colors that aren't red, blue, or yellow, this color alone stands out in its rise to glory as a member of TriplePerspective. Therefore the honor of "Best Non-Primary Blogger" goes to...
GREEN!
*Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots of applause*
Now while this blogger might be so small I often have trouble noticing him, his contributions have been big. Or at least equal. Whatever the case may be, it is my personal honor to present the coveted "1/2" Award to my personal friend and fellow blogger...
...wait where did he go?
Oh, ok I found him. Without further ado, the award goes to...
RED!
*HUGE applause, but for a "short" amount of time*
Well that about wraps it up for tonight guys! Hope you enjoyed everything. If you didn't win something...you'll always have nex..OH. It seems that we've forgotten to present the most important award of the night!
Come on, come on, hurry up and give the award already... ima startin to get hungryyyy...human fleshhhhhh...heheheh
Since we all know what happens when BLUE gets too hungry... I think it might be time to present the final award together....
We, the faithful bloggers and founders of TriplePerspective present.................................
The "Totally and Absolutely Not-Biased-Whatsoever Award for the Most Amazing Blog in the History of the Universe!!!!"
Which (surprisingly) goes to...
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TRIPLEPERSPECTIVE.BLOGSPOT.COM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Gargantuan, behemoth, mammoth, gigantic, enormous, (umm...checking synonyms on word...) immense, vast, and colossal cheering and applause that goes on and on and on and on for eternity times 9001!!!
In conclusion,
*Bows*
*Exits*
*Blasts off on a jet pack* (is it good to be the one who types these things up or what?)
